Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Eureka Moment WEEK 6
So today was a really long day at camp, particularly because of this one child. It is the same one I referenced last week whose father drives him to camp. While he threw a temper tantrum and stomped his feet, the other counselors were saying how they dont know what goes on at home, and where is his mother to teach him not to act this way? At that moment I had a eureka moment. Not because any one said anything mean, but because I noticed something that we all have embedded into our minds. I realized that we demonize mothers who work. I realized that when I was little, I knew that because my mom worked full time while the other children's mothers were at home all day and there to pick them up at the end of the day, I was often left out of playdates because my mom was not as involved in things such as the PTA, even though she put in a lot of time, the other mothers were not as likely to interact with her or ask for a play date. Maybe they were envious that she was out of the house, or maybe they thought she should be at home with me? I am really happy my mother worked when I was younger because now that I am becoming an adult she is able to work part-time or not at all if she choses, and I can spend even more time with her. She can take me out to lunch when I am down at college, she can get away, and she can enjoy having an "empty nest." Back to the mother of my campers who doesn't come to camp because she is working- i feel as though she must do everything she possibly can to see her children at the end of the day, but the way their fcamily dynamic is at this moment is that she needs to work during those hours. In conclusion, my eureka moment for this week is that women who are not as available to spend every day with their kids may sometimes be looked at as cold or not as dedicated to their families, however, it is just the way their family is and that should be easier accepted into society.
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Some women are just not at a point in their lives where they have the luxury of being able to work at home, or take off from work to spend time with their children. I have been very lucky when it comes to the amount of time I get to spend with my mother. My father owns a company, and my mother works for the company from home, so growing up my mother was basically always around when I needed her. I realize this isn't the norm, and to be honest, that scares me. Because that is the way I grew up, and I loved it, I am terrified that one day (not for a little while!) when I finally have children of my own, I won't be there for them when they need me. I need to realize that my home situation was not the norm, and that a child is capable of being perfectly fine without having their mother at their beckoned call.
ReplyDeleteThis does not by any means, mean that these mothers who aren't able to spend as much time with their children, should be considered cold, or not dedicated. However maybe it's true. Maybe they aren't good mothers, and just don't care enough to make adequate time for their children. Unfortunately sometimes, that is the case. But then again maybe it's not. Maybe these women care SO much about their children, that they word extra hard now, in order to make money to ensure their child a better future.
Either way, people really need to learn all the facts before they start opening their mouths!
Interesting that the camp workers would say "where his is mother?" when he throws a tantrum. What about where is his parents or where is his father? Where do these gendered perceptions come from? I think that you might be on to something, referring to how your mom was a caretaker for you. Do we still revert back to thoughts of mothers staying home and daddys making the income? Even, when mom and dad both work? Thanks for some nice blog discussions this semester. Have a great summer break!
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